Chad and I have pumped up our training for the Tahoe Spartan Beast, and it’s getting REAL! We have about 6 weeks left. It is interesting, this whole training thing. Though I always trained with purpose, it feels a little different this time.
About mile 6 today I found my mind wandering to moments in my past when I felt tired of training, when I wanted to give up. When I was just plain tired of running or burpees or thinking about training. Today my task felt difficult, but I didn’t feel negative or feel like quitting. I pushed myself to run until the hills became too steep to run, and began hiking if and when they did. I didn’t have the usual battles or if/then “bets” I often make when I’m pushing myself. “If I can run to the top of this hill, then I can walk when I get to the top…If I complete the workout as planned, then I can…”.
I relaxed into the difficult moments, and without much effort. I thought about how one of my clients told me last week “they should bottle the energy you have”. I laughed to myself, because really, I don’t have that much energy. I just keep going. I see obstacles and, though at first I may make an “oh shit” face, I recognize them as the opportunities they are. The bigger they are, the bigger the opportunity. That is what I tell myself. Every. Single. Time.
So, here I am. After years of competing around the world for the past 20 years, I think I have figured this whole training thing out. The easy part is putting together the program and sticking to it, no matter what. The hard part is letting go of the past, of the thoughts, of the future, and feeling the moment. It’s not hard in the traditional sense, it’s hard because my mind is a busy one, and giving in to simplicity is not natural to me. I know where that comes from (thanks Mom), but I also know that is part of who I am.
I often tell my clients that our strength is also our weakness. I say this from experience. As someone who wants to give my everything to the task at hand, holding even some of that back… holding a lot of that back does not come easy. Today, I found simplicity. It took me 44 years on this planet to actually enjoy the feeling of my feet hitting the dirt. It didn’t happen because the task was easy, it happened because I wasn’t clouded with thoughts of what needed to happen, what should happen, what wasn’t happening and what could happen. It happened because I let it happen.
My advice to anyone who needs it… let go of the things you think you need and you will make space for what actually is. What is, is often way more fulfilling than the other things you fill your mind with. Plan, prepare, begin, but then allow and enjoy. Whether it’s a workout, a test, the unexpected twist in your plans, it’s happening NOW. Go with the flow, learn and grow.
To your health, Coach M